Yesterday, I went to the office to submit one of the invitation
letter for my upcoming visit, I met her, she smiled as usual.
I saw her red lipstick as usual, the tread mark one; by which me
as prava used to recognise her. I came back to office. It was
just another boring usual day with an week end Friday. I went
for a endless walk to forget the grief I am facing these days.
I walked about 12 km with one of my friend here. I tried to sleep
but as usual today also I could not sleep after trying for an hour.
I tried meditating then went to the office around 3:30 am, decide to
finish a long time pending stuff. When I finished this, it was 7 am in the morning.
I went to the terras with my coffee. I came back, spent some time
watching some nonsense hindi movie and then got fed up and decided to finsih
another work. I was too tired, while walking I found my head was spinning.
I thought of going to the bed. I slept when it was 9 am. I woke up
around 6 skipping breakfast, lunch. Thats the time I checked the mail
and got the news as somebody died yesterday. I did not believe it was that lady.
But at night I got to know it was her. I wonder why not me. I am
not doing anything here, I am not so needful to anybody's life. I didn't reach
my goals, I lost too many and more than anything else I am tired and not
enjoying it anymore. It would have a relief for me if I was dead in stead of her.
I remember she was most helpful lady in the office always facing the troubles
with her big smile with red lipsticks. Tomorrow when we go there the chair will be
empty; another loss to my list. If there is a GOD, I want to says, its too many.
Just finish it off. I can't take it anymore.
letter for my upcoming visit, I met her, she smiled as usual.
I saw her red lipstick as usual, the tread mark one; by which me
as prava used to recognise her. I came back to office. It was
just another boring usual day with an week end Friday. I went
for a endless walk to forget the grief I am facing these days.
I walked about 12 km with one of my friend here. I tried to sleep
but as usual today also I could not sleep after trying for an hour.
I tried meditating then went to the office around 3:30 am, decide to
finish a long time pending stuff. When I finished this, it was 7 am in the morning.
I went to the terras with my coffee. I came back, spent some time
watching some nonsense hindi movie and then got fed up and decided to finsih
another work. I was too tired, while walking I found my head was spinning.
I thought of going to the bed. I slept when it was 9 am. I woke up
around 6 skipping breakfast, lunch. Thats the time I checked the mail
and got the news as somebody died yesterday. I did not believe it was that lady.
But at night I got to know it was her. I wonder why not me. I am
not doing anything here, I am not so needful to anybody's life. I didn't reach
my goals, I lost too many and more than anything else I am tired and not
enjoying it anymore. It would have a relief for me if I was dead in stead of her.
I remember she was most helpful lady in the office always facing the troubles
with her big smile with red lipsticks. Tomorrow when we go there the chair will be
empty; another loss to my list. If there is a GOD, I want to says, its too many.
Just finish it off. I can't take it anymore.
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